You are NOT Forgotten!

Have you ever felt like you were the only one on the planet who was going through difficult stuff?? – I have…I have felt that way all this past week!

God is so mindful…so faithful…He alone can do what no other can do!

Ya know, I’ve reached out by text…by phone….cried…fussed…isolated myself…etc.  When all I truly needed to do is cry out to Jesus!  That action on my part would have solved all that I was feeling a whole week ago!

Only God knows what He is doing during those hard times…Only He can comfort us…gently nudge us closer to becoming  the image of His son Jesus (remember?? Jesus is who we are to become like)  God alone had a plan for the whole circumstance we are/were going through!! ( Sometimes difficult for me to imagine…that God would want me to go through something difficult!? Lol!  ) God alone had the the answers, solutions, wisdom and discernment that is needed to STAND…and I feel ‘standing’ is better than ‘freaking out’ any day of the week; don’t you?

##- I tell you that your hope is in Me, and I will do all that I have promised.  Do not despair, but stand strong in your faith for victory.  I will give you the strength to overcome all adversity, says the Lord.  Be strong and resolute.  Psalms 46:1  God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. -## (Marsha Burns Spirit of Prophecy bulletin)

Until next time

Have you ever caught yourself…..

….rehashing the past?? Looking at it from a ba-zillion different angles?? Thinking to yourself, “I could have…should have”…done or said something other than what you did?

I have caught myself this past week doing just that! And all I have created in my heart and mind is fear!  Fear that what I said or did will come back to bite me! lol

God’s word says He has not given me a spirit of fear…but of LOVE, POWER, and a SOUND MIND…now, when I am focused on the coulda-shoulda-woulda’s…I no longer have love, power or a sound mind!  I have fear and doubt instead.

I encourage you today to let your past be your past.  Ask the Lord to convict your heart by His Spirit, should there be anything you need to repent of…and keep your eyes focused on Jesus…He says He will keep you in perfect peace, if you keep your mind stayed upon Him. 

Perfect peace doesn’t come while focused on the past…it only comes when we look to Him…the author and finisher of our faith!

Until next time….

Outta Nowhere!!

Ever experience God opening a new door?…giving you a fresh direction?…or a fresh start??  And, BAM!, outta nowhere you get run over by a Mack Truck??!!

Well, it happened to me this week.  As I sit and ponder the whole thing..I realize I already knew the ‘BAM’ could come…where it would come from and its mission against me!  See, God is cool like that.  However, what I didn’t see was that I had a choice as far as how I responded to it!

Now, I got a little fearful of the BAM instead of taking authority over it. (God’s word says we have authority over all the schemes, plots of the wicked one)  With the knowing that a ‘BAM’ could potentially come my way, I had the right to stop it before it hit!!  As a blood bought child of the King – Jesus..I had(have) that right! (Praise God for all of His wonderful equipping of the Saints!)

So, when you have that little twinge…knowing…that something is coming, take authority over it…render it powerless against you, in the Name of Jesus…and continue to walk in the newness of all that God is opening for you.  God can handle what is coming at you.  You don’t even have to give it a foothold for one second.  Keep your eyes upon Jesus and keep on steppin! 🙂

It’s been awhile!

I haven’t had much to say lately…trying to keep my mouth shut so as not to say the wrong things..I don’t want to make things worse by adding my 2 cents worth!!

New seasons, new people and places, God is putting in my path.  And if I am not careful, I will miss all that He is wanting to give me…show me…share with me. By careful, I mean the thoughts in my head and the words coming out of my mouth…Have you ever thought about what we miss out on because we are so focused on the thoughts/words that come from ‘self’?  Our opinions really do not matter in the grand scheme of things…yet, what “do” you say when everything around you seems to be crashing?!

We could speak exactly what is on our minds. We could speak what everything seems to look like, or feel like…yet that would not be the truth! (believe it or not!)

It is best to say nothing at first…while seeking God’s word to find the “right” things TO say!  It is hard to do sometimes…When ya feel like ya need to ‘get it off your chest’…spit it out to the Lord!  Not the person on the other end of the phone…nor in the workplace…nor the dinner table.  To the Lord…He already knows what’s goin on in your head/heart.  He won’t be offended by what you say, and He will cover it in His blood, that way the enemy cannot take your words and gain legal right in your situation or circumstance! (the enemy loves it when we blurt out stuff, because that gives him the right to wreak more havoc!)

God’s word is full of life.  Live words that have power to heal, restore and rebuild.

Think before you speak next time.  Then, purpose to speak the Live, Powerful Word of the Most High God!

Until next time

Ever felt like you failed miserably??

I have.  I have failed miserably often!  See, I tend to forget just what God has delivered me from, and my mouth gets to running…saying things I have no business saying!…And just at the moment my mouth has spit out words it shouldn’t have…The Holy Spirit convicts me. (which serves to tell me that I need to listen to the Holy Spirit before I open my mouth!)

Last night, for example, there is a gal who comes into my workplace from time to time…now, if not for the great mercy of God upon me….I would be her!  I would be loud, irritating and totally strung out on drugs.  Now, just because she is where she is in life….and I have been delivered (which was nothing “I” did…God delivered me)…doesn’t give me the right to judge her…or say anything negative about her.  I still have sin in my life…maybe “others” cannot see my sin, but God can.

That is a point to keep in mind…The same God I serve…The Creator of the Universe…The same God who died so I could truly live…sees my sin!  Not only does He see me.  He sees her.  He loves her.  He created her.  He longs to deliver her. He died for her.  Such a humbling reality!!  I am no better than anyone else on this planet. 

Not only am I no better than anyone else…I am called to be Jesus to a lost and dying world!  Heavy.  And there is where I fail miserably sometimes.  I forget where God has brought me from and behave as though I have had anything to do with the life I now have because of Jesus.

So, the next time anyone irritates you…or your mouth starts to ‘spit out’ something you know isn’t right….remember, God loves that person too…and He would love it even more if you chose to be Jesus to that person who is hurting, lost and dying without Him.

Until next time…

 

Benefits of Metamorphosis!

It’s been awhile!  I’ve been existing for the most part…Got to reading His word yesterday…thinking of how He calls us to be more like Jesus…so, if God says we are to be like Jesus…then I imagine we are able to.  I know we will not be fully like Jesus until He comes to take us to glory…however, I do believe we can begin our metamorphosis here and now!  How cool is that??!!

In light of that; here are some scriptures I personalized for my day!  Enjoy! 🙂

“The Spirit of the Lord rests upon me, the Spirit of 1)-wisdom and 2)-understanding, the Spirit of 3)-counsel and 4)-might, the Spirit of 5)-knowledge and of the 6)-reverance and 7)-awe of the Lord.  I am filled with a Spirit of awesome reverance for the Lord.  I do not judge after the sight of my eyes, nor decide after the hearing of my ears….(Isaiah 11:2-3 The sevenfold Holy Spirit)
“I do not hurt or destroy for I am full of the knowledge of the Lord, as the waters cover the sea. (isiah 11:9)

“And I say, Lord, I praise You! Though You were angry with me, Your anger has turned away, and You comforted me. Behold God is my salvation. I shall trust and not be afraid, for the Lord my God is my strength and my song. He also has become my salvation (Isaiah 12:1-2)

Personalize His word…make it yours, speaking it out in full confidence that the God of all, who put this word in your hands to use, will see that His word accomplishes all it is supposed to in your life!

May the blessings of our God chase you down and overtake you today!

Until next time…

Feeling Helpless??

Here I sit…thinking…about work, children, family, you know–all of life’s issues.  Having a hard time escaping the feeling of helplessness!

Teenagers, doin thier own thing…rebellious and disrespectful.  Older family members facing serious health issues…friends facing serious health issues!  What can I do??  What can I say or give to make any of this any better?  To get through to my children??  To make cancer go away??

Ever have one of those days???  I am having one today.  And it seems that no matter how hard I think…or where I look…or what I say…I cannot make any of these situations change!

That’s when it hit me!  Like a brick upside my head….It’s not about what me myself and I can or cannot do! (or think or say or…..)  It is about God and His sovreignty!  He and He alone can make a way where none seem to exist.

His word says that no weapon formed against us shall prosper…(that includes our descendants as well as our ancestors by the way!)  That He never leaves us or forsakes us…that our minds are kept in perfect peace when they are stayed on Him….That not one hair of our head falls without His knowing…His word says sooo much more…

In light of His word…His promises…Why am I feeling helpless????  I know it is because I am focused on the issues/circumstances as well as my ‘inabilities’…and that is not what His word tells me to do…He says to keep my eyes stayed upon Him…to look to the hills from whence cometh my help…that He gives me secrets in dark places…to delight myself in Him….to seek first His kingdom…and many more!!  What a thoughtful God we serve!!!!  Since He is mindful to fill His word with instructions for ”lil ole me”…then His word must also provide me with life/authority that I can speak to my children…circumstances/issues!!! 

So, I seem to have no real reason to feel helpless! My eyes are just in the wrong place!

Until next time…

 

 

Becoming the Monster that Hurt Me…

This was a shock to me!  All the years of suffering at the hand of a mere man…a flawed man…a hurt man.  A man who punished me for all that was wrong in his life.  I mean I prayed and God delivered me from that ‘situation’…so, how did “I” become just like the one God delivered me from????

They say, hind sight is 20/20…and , honestly, I did not see what I had become until God said it was over! (another long story!) 

Becoming what hurt me actually happened much easier than I would have imagined…You see, while I allowed God to deliver me from the ‘situation’…I put God on the back burner before the work was complete!  There was a ton of healing that needed to occur…stuff that had built up…stuff that I had buried in order to survive!  I stopped the process with my choices.  And I ended up very bitter and critical about everything and everyone…I was a major ‘finger pointer’…my favorite thing to say was “How could she/he…..”  Like everyone on the planet had no right to behave the way they did!  Well, they had not experienced the pain and humiliation “I” had…so …”how could they”?

I have lived that lesson out the hard way!  God has shown me that regardless of what or how others do…or say…etc.  I have no right to judge them!  I have no idea what others have been through!  No clue as to what has hurt them and caused them to behave they way they do…

So, because I traded God (after He delivered me from an abusive relationship) for a physical relationship with a mere man…I became the very yuck God delivered me out of!  I became abusive…verbally, mentally, emotionally…and, on occassion, physically.  I became ‘self righteous’…unforgiving…condescending..arrogant….haughty.  UGLY!!!  Just ugly from the inside out!

Regardless of what you are going through…Asking God to change…or deliver you out of…or from…Please, allow God to finish what is started!  What I mean by this, is realize that there are things in the mind…heart…emotions that need some serious healing  before deliverance is complete!  There could be attitudes, reactions, defense mechanisims that are not pleasing to the Lord…yet we have developed them during an abusive situation in order to survive…This is so not how God wants us to live!  In bondage to a learned behaviour.  He wants us to be totally free!  Not just free from the situation at hand…FREE from every root the situation has caused to grow in our hearts.

God is a gentleman…He will not force freedom upon you…and, yes, it is difficult to acknowlege the ugly within yourself…well, geez…afterall, you’ve been mistreated!  Trust me when I say…that ugly that has grown due to hurts and such…is not something ya wanna hold onto!  Allowing God to remove it is a way better option!  (Also, easier to allow Him to deliver you from it than trying to do things ‘your way’ LOL)

Until next time!…

Let me tell a story…part 2

Part 2: The Lord began to open my eyes more and more.  I was being lifted out of the fear.  Yet I had conflict as to what I was supposed to do because God’s word said not to divorce!

I began to pray for God’s will to be done…and only His will!  God began to show me more the lies of the fear that had been inflicted upon me…He began to show me more about the abuse I had lived under.  Doors began to open…doors that others would tell me could take up to 7 years to open!  Things happened to me (things others said would take years) in a matter of weeks!  As I continued to focus on the Lord…He made a way where, for 10 years, a ‘way’ never existed!

Fear didn’t control me anymore…well, fear of Darryl didn’t control me anymore!  God removed him from my (and my son’s) life.  Oh, Darryl still tried to get at us!  I have no idea how he obtained some of the information he got ahold to…what was important was that I was no longer afraid of him!  And only God can deliver anyone from any kind of fear(s).

As children of God, we don’t have to fear anyone…He says ‘fear not’ all through out His word! 

A word of caution to those who are living with or have been delivered from fear of man….Be sure to allow the Lord to complete the work!  I made the mistake of putting God on the ‘back burner’ after He delivered me from that fear…I didn’;t allow Him to heal the damage fear had caused.  I was very critical and judgmental.  Bitter to my bones!  I held onto all of that yuck that grew out of the fear.  And I ended up becoming the monster(fear) that had controlled me for so many years.

I had to learn, the hard way, why it is important to allow God to complete what He starts!  When we do not let go of the pain and offenses of being mistreated…it festers.  And we learn to hide it so well, that we don’t know what exists within ourself!  Our actions and reactions have become a learned behavior that needs to be ‘unlearned’ .  And that takes time.

Next time, we will talk about becoming the very thing that hurt us!!

Until tomorrow..

Let me tell a story about a man named…

Darryl! (you thought I was gonna say ‘Jed’, didn’t ya???  and for those who have no clue what I am referring to…”The beverly hillibillies”…was a sitcom back in the day)  Now that we have establishe how old I really am!!….(cough…cough)

Back to the story I would like to tell….Now, this may end up being a 3 part story…due to all the lessons I learned from my marriage to Darryl…so, get a cup of coffee…tea and join me!

When I met, Darryl, I was about 17…I was not living for the Lord.  At that time I was doing what felt good to me.  He was ‘the life of the party’ type of guy…very funny and everyone seemed to like him alot.  What I didn’t realize (until it was too late) was how abusive this man was! 

It began with the words…name calling and putting me down.  Now, keep in mind I didn’t think too much of my self to begin with…I mean, I thought that if a man was physically attracted to me, then that was love.  In my mind I was worthless…another long story for another day …involving the first man in my life, my dad…ok, back on track here…Darryl spent energy, time and effort to tear me down(even more than I was already) in my mind and emotions before he ever physically hit me.

I married this man because I was afraid he would kill my mom and my grandma…He was good at bringing his threats to reality, and I believed he would actually kill them!

I spent 10 long years living in fear.  Many times I was accused of this that or the other…followed by a thurough beating…and I mean, beatings!  I was tiny gal back then and he was 6 foot and 300lbs…He could literally wrap my entire neck in one hand and throw me around like a rag doll!  Which he did…often.  He never left physical evidence, like bruising…I had one scar on my arm that finally went away 4 years after a beating…the point I am trying to get at is I was super afraid of this man.  Yet it was more the emotional/mental abuse that took its toll on me…even to the point of physical illness…for the last 2 years of my marriage to him I experienced constant (2yrs straight) menstrual cycle…that was the effect the fear had on my body…

There were many things I was ‘not allowed’ to do, because if I did…he would beat me.  I couldn’t hang out with my family…my..our son…or go to church.  If I spent (accorrding to him) too much time with my family…or went to church…I was cheating on him and I got my behind beat!

Now, I am not saying I was perfect in this marriage…there were many things I did out of fear for this man…things that are shameful and yuck so I will not list them…however, I didn’t do…never did…the things he would accuse me of!  And I could not understand how he figured I did the things he was saying as I was his prisoner!

The last year of this marriage, God orchestrated some things on my behalf…Darryl was a drug user..(I was too until he beat the slap outta me because I couldn’t afford to buy him some more drugs…I stopped…he continued)  And as a drug user, he began to be away from home for days and days…During which time I got on my knees and cried out to the Lord!!  Hours and hours I spent just crying out…my son, who was 3, would kneel with me…crying and praying…I would know when to stop because my body would ‘warn me’ when Darryl would be home soon…I would just get sick and all knotted up inside…I knew a beating was coming!

Now you may be thinking I am just talking about abuse…however, I am telling this story to get to ‘how God did His thang’ and delivered me!

Because I spent time with the Lord..praying, praising, reading His word…crying out…Things just started opening up!  My eyes were the first! 

I used to believe all the pain I was enduring was actually (somehow) my fault!  I must have done something wrong to deserve this…I must not have been good enough…pretty enough…rich enough…etc.  When God opened my eyes…wow, I was shocked at how much crud I believed because of how he treated me!

The last ‘beating’ I recieved…was weird.  I was with him…in his family’s neighborhood…sitting with his sister in her car…he was gone (of course)…she and I were just talking and waiting for him to come back to pick me up…there was one of his so called ‘homies’ sitting on a porch accross from where sis and I were sitting…she left with another guy to ‘make a liquor run’ …I stayed in her car because I knew if I wasn’t there when he got back there would be hell to pay!

He finally did get back…not too long after his sister rode off with the guy to the store…as Darryl was getting out of his car…the so called ‘homie’ was running up to him to tell him that I rode off with his sister and this guy!!!!  I could not believe what I was hearing!  Really??? I was sitting right there…where he left me!!!!  As this guy was telling him this I got out of the car and walked over to him…at that same time his sister and the guy pulled up and blew the ‘homies’ story right outta the water….or so I thought.

We drove to pick up our son…and were heading home and Darryl was quiet…too quiet…and my stomach was in knots…sick knots…Darryl began to grab my hair and pull and push my head against the car window while he was driving…all while accusing me of doing the very thing that guy had told him…even accused me of liking the attention of the guy who was lying!!!  This is when God opened my eyes…the way this man treated me had nothing to do with me!  I was just a convienient punching bag!  He was an irrational thinker and nothing I said…did or didn;t do would have ever made a difference!  Yet, I had been so hurt and broken inside…I believed his lies…I became his lies…

Praise God He interveined!! I might still be stuck in that situation! 

ok…This is part one of this story…Stay tuned!!  More to come 🙂

Until next time…