Part 2: The Lord began to open my eyes more and more. I was being lifted out of the fear. Yet I had conflict as to what I was supposed to do because God’s word said not to divorce!
I began to pray for God’s will to be done…and only His will! God began to show me more the lies of the fear that had been inflicted upon me…He began to show me more about the abuse I had lived under. Doors began to open…doors that others would tell me could take up to 7 years to open! Things happened to me (things others said would take years) in a matter of weeks! As I continued to focus on the Lord…He made a way where, for 10 years, a ‘way’ never existed!
Fear didn’t control me anymore…well, fear of Darryl didn’t control me anymore! God removed him from my (and my son’s) life. Oh, Darryl still tried to get at us! I have no idea how he obtained some of the information he got ahold to…what was important was that I was no longer afraid of him! And only God can deliver anyone from any kind of fear(s).
As children of God, we don’t have to fear anyone…He says ‘fear not’ all through out His word!
A word of caution to those who are living with or have been delivered from fear of man….Be sure to allow the Lord to complete the work! I made the mistake of putting God on the ‘back burner’ after He delivered me from that fear…I didn’;t allow Him to heal the damage fear had caused. I was very critical and judgmental. Bitter to my bones! I held onto all of that yuck that grew out of the fear. And I ended up becoming the monster(fear) that had controlled me for so many years.
I had to learn, the hard way, why it is important to allow God to complete what He starts! When we do not let go of the pain and offenses of being mistreated…it festers. And we learn to hide it so well, that we don’t know what exists within ourself! Our actions and reactions have become a learned behavior that needs to be ‘unlearned’ . And that takes time.
Next time, we will talk about becoming the very thing that hurt us!!
Until tomorrow..
Marsalea 